Neither forgotten nor forgiven, but almost
by Paty4Hale
Summary: Alternate ending to New Moon. The voting scene in New moon never happened. Edward is dealing with some self-loathing that leads him to try and punish himself, but Bella sees right through him and guides him with her love and patience. Edward listens to Bella and after talking about what is bothering him, they are able to move on. Forever is only the beginning.


**Hello! I bring you here a one-shot that was dancing in my mind yesterday. I had to re-write a few times, but I am happy with the result.**

 **I hope you enjoy it as well.**

 **The voting scene at the end of New Moon never happened, so I jumped directly from the part when Edward asked Bella if she had moved on or if she still loved him to this alternative universe.**

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 **Neither forgotten nor forgiven, but almost.**

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-I'm bored- Edward complained.

Bella looked at him in disbelief. He never complained about things happening to him, let alone has she ever heard him say those words. -I didn't know vampires could get bored.- then she giggled and added:- aren't you always making up a thousand things to do? Especially Alice?

Edward shrugged and rested his head on her thighs. They were at the meadow in a quiet and sunny afternoon. She liked playing with his hair and he seemed content every time.

She had a book, she always had a book, thought Edward to himself. He should have brought a book. Why didn't he brought a book?.

Bella closed her book with a sigh and a low laugh. -Do you have any idea what could distract you?

Edward shook his head no. Bella sighed.

-Are you really bored or just cranky?.-she asked in good humor. Big mistake.

He hadn't eaten in a while so Bella suspected that was the reason he was "bored". Because no matter what they did, he found everything boring. She suggested laying on the meadow as her last attempt to soothe him. Clearly, it didn't work.

-I'm not cranky - he complained opening his eyes and staring at her. His eyes were black. Not like black holes but dark enough.

-ok- she replied slowly and defensively.

 _He was cranky._ She had told him once that she had the theory that men were usually cranky when hungry. Edward wasn't the exception, as much as he wanted to be.

He remained in the same position for a few more minutes, until he was more bored and sat up extremely fast. Bella shook her head, she still finds the speed and the...well _vampirism_ very surprising. Now she really was worried about Edward, he's never been this... unhappy. He had never let himself be this hungry. She was uncertain if she ought to bring up the subject or just let it slip.

-What if you go hunting? Maybe that'll make you feel better.- _Maybe that'll make you less cranky_ , she thought. And she thanked the gods for making her the only person whose thoughts were hidden from him. If he was cranky now, she could only imagine if she even hinted again that he was cranky.

Edward looked at her and for the first time that day he smiled and gave her her favorite smile.

-I am not a good company today, am I?.-he asked apologetically.

Bella just shrugged and caressed the purple marks under his eyes, trying to silently tell him what she thought. He tilted his head and kissed her palm.

-I'm sorry love.-he apologized after closing his darkened eyes.

Bella shook her head.-Don't be. I love spending time with you. It's just strange seeing this side of you.- She decided to voice her concerns- I mean, you never let yourself be this hungry. You always say that it puts me in danger-Bella knew she was playing dirty, but she had to. Edward wasn't very concern for his own safety but when it came to hers, he was like a guardian dog. So she used this card and prayed it would work.

-I'll take you on your word and go hunting. Maybe when I come back I'll be less… _cranky._

Bella laughed and winked.-I´ll be waiting for my not-cranky vampire to return.-He laughed and kissed her forehead.

He did go hunting after dropping her at home. She texted Alice telling her to keep him hunting until he was completely satisfied. She didn't want him in any kind of danger. She knew Alice would be true to her promises.

Ever since they came back from Italy, he has been acting strangely. She loved him and loved all the attention that she got from him, especially because he seemed to have changed some of his old habits, though something must be bothering him because it is unlike him to be this reckless around her. She knew he would never physically hurt her, but seeing him like this was hurting her deeper than any physical wound.

Apparently, Bella wasn't the only one thinking that Edward was acting strange, because Alice came back earlier than they both expected, and paid her friend a visit.

-I'm telling you, Bella, even Esme couldn't stand him. She left with me. Do you know how… impossible that is? Esme. The one who loves everyone and is always happy. We left Edward with the boys and Rosalie. I think she's enjoying making Edward more irritable.

Bella shook her head amused-Hasn't it always been her job messing with Edward?-Alice tilted her head like she was considering this scenario.-I mean, I know she doesn't like me very much and I always thought that if anyone was to mess with him like a sister would, is her. Besides you and him get along in a different way.

Alice smiled. How could her brother be so blind? She was perfect for him. She would make him not take everything so seriously. How come he always doubts himself and everyone else? He broke her heart once. She promised both of them (Edward and herself) that she wouldn't let it happen again.

-So...when is he coming back?

Alice concentrated on a blank space for a few seconds before adding with the utmost certainty-Tonight.-Bella smiled excitedly.

That night around eight o' clock, a tap on her window got her to put down her school work. She opened her window and in came Edward looking fresh and well...different somehow.

They sat on Bella's bed silent for a few minutes until he spoke up.

-It was pointed out to me that I have been a really uncomfortable person to hang out with.-he sighed-Well, Rose used "bitchy" to be precise.

Bella smiled amusedly. He wasn't cranky anymore. And his eyes were the deepest gold she had ever seen in him. She was relieved and happy to have him back.

-I'm really sorry for ruining our day the other day.- He took one strand of hair and put it behind her ear. She loved it when he did that.

Bella took his hands on her and got internally ready to tell him something that might cause him pain. But in order to move on she had to say it.-The thing is Edward, that yes, you've been acting strange lately. And when I think about it, it happened right after we got back from Volterra. Whatever you were thinking this last few days, let it go, if not for you then for me.-He nodded.-I know you know about my nightmares. I'm pretty sure Charlie still thinks of them even if I haven't had any for the last three months. Since you came back.-She sighed and continued:-I won't pretend that everything is 100% perfect, because it's not. You have changed and so have I, but my feelings for you and my dreams for our future remain intact. I love you, forever, and I hate it when you put yourself through unnecessary pain like starving yourself until being cranky and impossible to hang out with. I won't hate you if you have to hunt every two weeks, I've been perfectly fine since the first time I knew about you.

Edward looked at the girl...woman in front of him. Stronger, braver and wiser than ever. How he regrets leaving her all those months ago. He didn't have any words to give back.

-I just want you to be my Edward.-she smiled and attempted to make a joke-You know, paranoid, overprotective, jealous of his own shadow Edward. The one and only I have ever loved, and I will ever love.

Edward sighed and rested his forehead on hers. He loved her more than words could describe, more than life itself. He made a vow then and there to try and be better for her, to try harder for her. For that brave girl who became a woman in those months, they spent apart. This amazing woman who was giving him her heart...again.

-I love you Bella.-he whispered.

-I love you, too.-She whispered back.

-For ever-he promised.

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 **I hope you liked this little thing!**

 **Kisses!**

 **Paty4Hale**

 **4.09.2018**


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